Other Peoples' Perspective

How To take Control of Your Mind with Wiley MacArthur

Freddy Cocek Episode 3

Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.

0:00 | 48:54

In episode 3 of Other People's Perspective, Freddy Cocek interviews Wiley McArthur, also known as the Mind Ninja, to discuss the power of the subconscious mind and how to address negative emotions effectively. They delve into the importance of focusing on what you want instead of what you don't want, the impact of language on our mindset, and the significance of taking action towards our goals.


Tune in as they explore the power of reframing thoughts, the importance of self-love, and the impact of modeling positive behavior for our children.


TIMESTAMPS

[00:02:40] Letting Go of Negative Emotions.

[00:07:38] Society's Focus on Negativity.

[00:11:09] Setting Big, Long-Term Goals.

[00:13:01] Focusing on Opportunities and Goals.

[00:17:10] Neural Linguistics Programming

[00:24:16] Collaboration and Mentorship.

[00:26:49] The Power of Purpose.

[00:31:01] The Power of Unconscious Actions.

[00:36:01] Investing Energy into Moving Forward.

[00:41:12] Stop Sacrificing for your Kids.

[00:44:21] Fill Your Cup.

[00:46:52] Reframing for Positive Change.


QUOTES

  • "There is absolutely no reason you should have to feel any emotional attachment to it. The only reason you have a negative emotion or trauma or any of that is because you haven't learned what you need to learn to keep yourself safe." - Wiley McArthur
  • "Let you be who you're meant to be to the best of your ability and just help you get out of your own way because the only one that's holding you back from being your most magnificent self is you." - Wiley McArthur
  • "Stop saying, I will sacrifice myself for my kids. Because all you're teaching your kids is to sacrifice and it creates a system of sacrifice instead of saying, hey, this is how I fixed myself so that you could be better. I'm going to give you lessons, not give all the pieces of myself." - Wiley McArthur



SOCIAL MEDIA LINKS


Freddy Cocek

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cocekdaddy/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/freddy.cocek

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/freddy-cocek-496a0794/


Wiley McArthur

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themindninjaco/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/wiley.mcarthur

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mindninja/





Welcome to Other People's Perspective, a place for you to listen, learn, laugh, and always feel better at the end of every episode, taking something bigger away from it for you and others. And now here's your host, Freddie Kuchik.

Welcome back everyone. This is a Other People's Perspective with your host, Freddie Kuchik. This is my guest today is a gentleman by the name of Wiley MacArthur. Am I saying that correctly, MacArthur or MacArthur? MacArthur works. MacArthur, OK. MacArthur works. OK. Wiley is the Mind Ninja. He is a gentleman that has a unique set of skills for addressing I'll let you be more specific and explain it better, but he has a unique set of skills and ability for addressing multiple levels and areas of concerns with people's, I guess it's more focused on the subconscious mind than the conscious mind, but I'll allow Wiley to explain that better as we progress. And just prior to starting this session, we did a negative emotion clear. And I feel like I'm in a pretty damn good place. So thank you for that, sir. Thank you.

Freddy Cocek

Thank you. Who would have thought that you could get rid of all your past anger, sadness, fear, hurt, and guilt in less than an hour without any trauma and just have fun with it?

Wiley McArthur

Most people would think it's not a thing. All you got to do is try the process and it works. So there you go.

Well, here's the fun thing is most people think that. as we were talking earlier that my trauma is bigger than your trauma and I've had it for this long and we hold on to it as as a crutch because we've had it for so long. It becomes part of our identity. Yes. I mean there are some things that just say I was born this way. I have to hold on to this. It's just me. And the crazy part about it is is the lessons that you need to learn from it. Sure, those are important. Those are part of you. But there is absolutely no reason you should have to feel any emotional attachment to it. The only reason you have a negative emotion or trauma or any of that is because you haven't learned what you need to learn to keep yourself safe. A negative emotion is basically a check engine light that we as humans tend to put duct tape over and say, I'm OK. I don't need to deal with that. I don't need to deal with that. Not realizing that anytime something similar comes up, we get all of it back and we bleed on those around us because our kids are very aware when we're in an upset state or a triggered state or a traumatic state. Our family is there. We can't be our 100% our best selves with this, with these triggers in them. And the biggest thing that I've learned is most of the time we focus on what's wrong and how to fix it instead of going, what do I need to learn from this? The learning which will allow me to let it go. And what do I want instead? If I focus on what I don't want, where focus goes, energy flows, I'll get more of what I don't want. We manifest don't want.

I'm going to try my best to remember that. You're going to do it. Where focus goes, energy flows. Is that right?

Where focus goes, energy flows.

When you said that earlier, that's like this really resonated with me and that's stuck in my head. I'm going to I'm going to have to stick to that and use that. I like that.

Right. Well, you think about when you're riding on a path on a bike. Right. And there's this big rock in the middle of the path. If you stare at the rock, what happens?

You hit it, you run into it.

If we stare at the problem long enough, we'll manifest it. Our unconscious is so powerful, it will manifest. Whatever we are focused on, good or bad, it has no qualms. It's like telling a kid, right? Don't run into the street. What's the first thing we think of? Run into the street. Well, what if instead I said, hey, stay here beside me where it's safe? Same result that we want, but there's not the pull to go run into the street. There's the, oh, stay here. Cool. I got it. And when we start phrasing things in ways of, this is what I want. I want my business to succeed. Well, if I say, I'm doing really well right now. I don't want the shoe to drop. This bad thing's going to happen. I know it because things have been going so well. What did you just do? You took your foot off the gas, and you swerved into the oncoming traffic to say, well, I got to have an accident sometime.

You're opening the door for that possibility when it doesn't even need to be open.

Absolutely. And let's be honest, if something does pop up, you've survived everything that's negative that's happened in your life up till now.

Here we are.

You've always found a way. That's the thing is we've always found a way to overcome. Why would I put energy into something that could come when I can put all of my energy into being successful, seeing myself winning? you clear all your anxiety if all you saw yourself was winning nobody is anxious about winning they're anxious about well what if what if what if and 99.99 of the time that what if never shows up something close to it maybe something less than sure but if you hadn't put that energy there if you hadn't said well what if this bad thing happened oh if you hadn't given any energy to it

Would it have happened? You're giving it, you're giving it more potential for opportunity by, you know, allowing it some of your energy and, and, you know, some part of your focus.

We manifest. Humans are so amazing at manifesting what they focus on. And they, they use the word don't, well, I don't want this instead of, well, I want this. I want what's best for my kids. Then we start moving and they move mountains to do things great for their kids. Yes. It's so crazy that we put energy where it doesn't need to be. And it's human nature to look for the bad. It's human nature to focus on what's wrong and how do we fix it? Because we would rather go through pain and say we did something to protect somebody than look stupid by saying, there's this amazing thing out here that I'm running towards. Because when someone said, if we look at any social media, right, the most successful ones are the people who talk about how things are bad or how awful things are or news or whatever. The people who start saying how things are awesome, they get cut down by society, like nobody's business, because nobody wants to connect with the positivity.

Yeah, it's a shame that that seems to be so much of society's focus is on, you know, the negative aspects of certain things. I don't understand what drives that, but.

Jerry, Jerry, Jerry. Well, that's the thing, right? Someone else's life is more screwed up than mine. I'm OK. And it gives us that sense of I'm OK. If somebody else is worse off, then I'm OK. We can justify living mediocre lives because we're better off than somebody else. instead of, what if I was living my absolute best life? What if I could be in flow state more often? Yes. Think about, what would I tell my 20-year-old self? Well, that's an absolutely worthless question because I'll never be 20 again. What if instead I asked, what would my 97-year-old self that has accomplished everything that I ever wanted to tell me to do today? Would they be proud of my actions or would they kick my ass?

Because you still have time ahead of you and in front of you to do that and to act upon that, as opposed to, like you say, talking to yourself, your 20-year-old self that was 20-plus years ago.

What can I change for them? Buy Bitcoin.

Buy Bitcoin. It doesn't work, right? I mean, you look at Colonel Sanders. He was, what, 70 when he finally was successful? He was. And he made something of his life? Yes. Right. You decide, OK, my past me, done. I didn't like that me. This is what I want. OK, let's take action. What's the first thing I need to do? Decide what I want. People will spend more time planning a vacation than they will planning their future.

Sadly, I believe that is largely true so much of the time.

Well, because people are afraid to dream because they've let themselves down enough that they go, well, it's not possible for me. Instead of what if I dreamed a little bit, let's put this dream out there. As you and I were talking earlier, if you think about it, the unconscious mind will only move as fast as your furthest goal. If your furthest goal is the weekend, the week is going to go really slow. And then what happens is, is the weekend, we set it for the next weekend. So the weekend flies by. And then it's like, uh, weekend. Well, what if instead you had this big dream that said, I want to accomplish this and gave it all your energy of, I want to accomplish this magnificent thing. You look at Elon Musk. 100-year goal. He's got this thing so far out, he wants to colonize Mars. And if you look at how fast he's growing, leaps and bounds, because the unconscious mind goes, I've got this massive goal, I can give massive jumps because I'm not afraid I'm going to die. Because it believes it's going to die the minute you accomplish your final goal. If you've only got it a week out, it's going to slow down. If you've got it 100 years in the future, it's going to go, oh, I can skip 10 or 20 years. Cool. And if you keep pushing it out, you keep growing. It's amazing. What I would challenge anybody that's listening to this is write your own personal eulogy. What do you want said about you? Because when you know what you want said about you, your unconscious goes, OK, I can help you on that path. Say it the way you want it. Create that dream. If you really want to get technical, I've got a Procedure, we walk through timeline and we can actually install that future out there and allow the unconscious to reverse engineering and make it to where it's actual reality. Create your own deja vu. You feel a lot brighter after giving it a little bit of kick in the pants.

And to speak on the eulogy, I know we had in In the past, we talked about that. And you told me, write your eulogy, write your own eulogy. What would you want said about you? What do you want to remember? What do you want to be remembered? I think that's a very powerful thing that a lot of people don't. I'm sure very, very few people ever think about or consider writing their own eulogy. I'm sure the common theme or the common thought about it is, well, When I die, it's not going to be my deal to write my own eulogy. Somebody else is going to write it for me. I sure hope they do a great job. But if you do that for yourself, then you're actually investing the time and effort and taking the time. to consciously think, well, hey, what do I want to be remembered for? And that would give you an opportunity to build toward that or work towards that going forward from where you are now into the future.

Well, as you think about it, where focus goes, energy flows. If you're writing that, where's your focus? On what you want to accomplish. which then activates that reticular activating system and says, oh, you want to accomplish that? Well, then let me put this opportunity in the way, this opportunity in the way, this opportunity in the way so that you can accomplish it. It's like when you bought your first vehicle, right? Nobody had it. You knew what what it looked like, what everything about it, right? Yet nobody had it until you drove it off the lot. The minute you drove it off the lot, you gave your unconscious mind the permission to bring to your awareness all the things that were similar and then when it did they're everywhere you're like what the heck i thought i was unique i've never seen all those before and now they're everywhere well because you just gave your mind your unconscious mind or your yeah you gave yourself permission to see that Absolutely. And that's the thing is if when you give yourself permission to see opportunities of things that you want, the unconscious will goes, Oh, you want that every second, a million bits of information are dumped on us. And without a plan, you'll get 27 random bits of information. Cause that's all your conscious can handle. If you have a plan of where you want to go, the unconscious goes, Oh, you want those? And then it hand selects the 27 to give you so that you can move towards where you want. That's why when all the lights are turning green and you're in flow state, you're not thinking about what's happening next. You're just following the dots. It's like playing guitar hero. It's like, all right, click this here, click this here. I got this. I know where I need to go without a plan, without any idea where you want to go. It's like the Cheshire cat says, where do you want to go? I don't know. Well, then it doesn't matter which path you take, but I don't know anybody. that decides to go on a vacation and then just goes to a random place on the airport and says, all right, where are we going? It's, I want to go to this destination. I want these amenities. Oh, OK. Then you need to go to this place to get those amenities so that you can have that enjoyable experience. You're not going to book a flight to Arizona to go sit by the beach. If you wanna be by the beach, if that's your goal, you're not going to Arizona. You're gonna pick like California or Oregon, Washington or the Florida, right? You're gonna pick a place that has water beach side. Yes. Yet so many in life go, well, I'm just gonna leave it up to God. God's gonna direct me. It's like, Blank slate. Okay. Well, what do you want? What do you want to use your talents towards? Give him something to tune you into what you want to be. He gave you desires, gave you wants, gave you dreams. Then you just say, well, I want to accomplish this dream. All right, here's the pathway.

No. What was it that sparked your interest or developed your interest in pursuing this? Is this something that has been as far as a profession or an interest of yours? Has this gone on since early childhood or something you came across in years after?

I wanted to be a motivational speaker in high school. I went to some of those, and I felt really good about it. I really enjoyed the energy that was there. And then I started following the Zig Ziglars, the Jim Rohns, the Tony Robbins. Tony Robbins was the biggest influence. And he had this skill set of NLP. And it's called Neural Linguistics Programming. And basically, its whole thing is, it's the study of how words affect the way our computer minds work. We basically live in a matrix. So if I could find the code for that matrix and become the one, that'd be kind of cool. Because then I could help other people find their own capacities and capabilities and help them pull them out of the system. And that's why I absolutely love this. And my group on Facebook is Hacking the Matrix Daily, right? It's how we do little things that reprogram the way that we see things so that we can move forward. and I've I've let it lapse a little bit just because I haven't got the consistency programming down yet. I'm working on it just like everybody else. We've got things that we could be better at.

Everything is a is a constant work in progress, even even if even if someone thinks that they've got it at the highest level, there's still always.

Well, you know what you need to know if Michael Jordan needed a coach for basketball. Right, he had two or three different coaches. even if you have the skill set, there's still things that are outside of your awareness that if you could bring them to where you could see them, you could absolutely crush it. That's what coaches do. That's why I love the coaching aspect is I can help someone that doesn't see what's going on, bring it to their, it's like, Oh, I can take action on that. Right? I've got this. My phone's like, Oh, but that's the thing is, is if you have someone that can help bring to awareness what you need to do. See, there's a few different types of coaches. There's the coaches that have already done it, and they have their system, and they stuff you into their system and say, do it my way. It's great to have those things. The problem with it is you're not them. You don't have their personality. You don't have their beliefs, values and structures. So the best way to do it is take their advice on things to move you forward. But at the end of the day, you still have to be your original you. Sure. Then there's the NLP type coaches. Our goal is I haven't accomplished what you want to do, but I'm really good at asking you the questions to get you out of your own way so that you could move where you want to go as quick as possible. I'm not going to tell you how to do it. My goal is to be the Phil Jackson to your Michael Jordan. Right, to let you be who you're meant to be to the best of your ability and just help you get out of your own way, because the only one that's holding you back from being your most magnificent self is you. And if you've got somebody that says, hey, did you see this? Oh, wait, no, I didn't see that. Oh, do you know how to take care of it? Yeah, I can take care of that. That's easy. OK. And that's what I do is I like being a guy to just say, hey, let me just ask you a few questions. Oh, what's the problem with this? OK, so what do you want instead? And then just get the resolution, get the unconscious to bring it to your awareness like, oh, I didn't even see that.

Oh, OK, well, then that was easy.

The I love easy button because it's really there. It's once you get out of your own way. The path isn't easy. It's just take one step in front of the other. It's all about action. And if you're someone who can take action and get you'll get results.

Your process certainly helps to. put people or put a person on that path. It's an expedited process to put them on that path of thinking in that direction or those directions and cutting out a lot of the unnecessary that I think a lot of people feel like it needs to be part of that process for some reason. Maybe it makes us feel good or makes some people feel good to drag things out or draw them out when not all of that always needs to be drawn out and dragged out that way. Am I right or am I?

Well, here's the thing. We are trained from a young age on whether we need to struggle or not. The people who don't struggle are the ones who have been taught, just put forth your effort, love what you do. You're going to be magnificent and believe in it. And then there are other people who say you have to work hard. Well, if you love what you do, is it truly hard? No. So what do you have to do? You have to self-sabotage to make it hard so that you can fulfill the hard work. Right? That belief structure. Instead of, I put forth value, and value comes back to me. Once we discover that, where it becomes a symbiotic movement relationship, where if I provide value, and I believe value comes back to me, and I accept value in exchange, see, a lot of us would love to help people, but we don't want to accept help. If it is a circular energy, and you say, I don't want to let people help me, then what happens when you tell people you want to help them and they don't want you to help them? It freezes all of that momentum. Instead of to say, hey, I appreciate you. Thank you so much. And then the person who you want to help. Thank you so much. Thank you so much. And we create that flow of energy. It's OK to accept help. It's OK to accept movement because we would want someone to accept our help and not say no, no, no, no, no. And if someone offers to say thank you. It's not difficult. Someone is putting forth an effort. Thank you. I accept. It's positive energy that they want to give to you. Just accept it. Someone offers you something. Thank you. And when you do that, then it creates a cycle of when some you want to help someone else and they'll just say, thank you. That's the goal, right? We want it to be a free flowing, amazing energy. The goal is to find win-win relationships. And sometimes that requires being helped. And other times it requires helping. But at the end of the day, if we all just accept help and help, then there's no telling how magnificent our lives could be. If we could collaborate and lift each other up instead of the crab mentality of pulling each other back, saying, how come you're succeeding more than me? Just, well, how did you get there? Well, let me help you up. Okay. Just a shift. And then all of a sudden it's like, wow, I didn't realize that life could be great. I mean, heck, I had fun changing the 10 commandments by just saying, thou shalt not covet. It's like, thou shalt find the person who has what you want and ask them how they did it.

There you go.

Because a lot of people will be like, oh, I did it this way. Let me help you. And if you take action and you make movement, they'll be like, oh, I want some of this. And then they'll give you more because I don't know about you, but if you give someone advice and they take action on it and you see them succeeding, you're like, well, let me feed more into that, dude. I want to help them more because I feel good helping someone get out of their own way and grow. And the mentors are looking for people who are willing to take action because there are a lot of people out there that will say, I don't want to do that. Instead of, oh, I just have to do that? Who do you want to work with?

Yeah, a lot of people seem to want an easy answer. But then when you provide an easy answer, at least an easier solution, then they I'm not gonna say they're turned off by it, but they think that's not, well, that's not viable, that doesn't work, or that's not the way. I'm like, no, it really can be a lot easier than what you are thinking it could be or what you have been told it has to be or could be. There's simpler solutions to a lot of things.

So. Getting around the right people, it's the whole, the five people you spend the most time with are who you are like. And if you spend a lot of time around people who are excuse givers that just say, well, but right, try, I'll try. Right. We, we, we have lots of conversations about try and how that is very, the only people who use try effectively are hypnotherapists and hypnosis because they want someone to fail and put forth a lot of energy doing it. But at the end of the day, if you say you're going to try and do something, you're giving yourself opposing energy to stop you from getting where you want to go. The easiest example I have of this is put a pen in front of you and try and pick it up. If you picked it up, you didn't try. You did it. Try is hitting all around it and not being successful. That's trying. This is doing not even reaching for it is not doing. Follow Yoda, do or do not. There is no try. Just put your energy on either being successful or not. Choose one. And it's okay if you decide you don't want to put energy there. Cool. Find a place that you do want to put your energy, but put it with full purpose of heart.

Yes. Try, try as a try, try leaves. It leaves an out. There's a margin for error.

No, it's an absolute. stoppage, whereas hope hope is the one that leaves both ones. I hope I'm successful. The minute you say hope you've given yourself two possibilities, right? You see yourself failing and you see yourself succeeding with hope. But what if you said just put all the energy and I'm going to burn the boats. I'm going to get this result because that's what I want. Then if something shows up, You don't hope to get past it, you don't get defeated by it, you go, oh, I got to find a way around, over, under, through, it doesn't matter, I'm going to find a way. Those are the ones who are truly successful who just say, I'm going to get this come hell or high water. You put the energy of, my kid is in a burning building and I have to get across the way to get them. Am I going to hope I succeed in rescuing them?

No. Are you going to hope, I hope I can rescue my kid.

It's like, um, no, there is no hope in this. I'm not going to try and do this. My kid is going to get rescued come hell or high water. I don't care if the firefighters standing in front of me, I don't care. I am going to rescue my kid. If we could put that energy towards what our purpose is, we will accomplish anything.

Try and hope is like saying you're going to You're going to burn the boats, but you're only going to burn half the boats. You're leaving a spare just in case.

Well, no. What happens is you poke a hole in the boat. And then when you decide you want to run away, you go and you sink. See, that's the thing. That's what divided energy does is you sink. You run away. See, there are people who love to have plan B and plan C's. Well, if you've got a plan B and a plan C, how much energy are you giving to plan A?

Not 100%.

No. You're not rescuing your child with plan B and plan C. Now, if something comes up, you can roll it. You will manifest the solution. True resourceful people are the ones that say, I got to get this done. And you've got a plan A, you give 100% to plan A, and you just make it work. And if you along the way, you realize that the ladder is on the wrong wall, you go, OK, I'm going to go on this wall now.

And you make it work. That's still plan A, you're just making adjustments and you're you're just like, I'm adjusting along the way.

I mean, there's someone in this group called Apex that just is pivot and slay. We can pivot right and pivot. But the one who sits there planning. that really it's like the perfectionists will never accomplish anything because they don't take action the ones who get the most movement are the ones who keep taking shots and go oh That missed by this much. Okay. I need to shift this. I need to do this. I need to triangulate this another shot. Okay. Now I need to do this. Need to do this. Need to do this. The people who start podcasts and say, I don't know what I'm doing, but I'm going to have fun with this and we're going to make it work. And then after about 30, 40 episodes, people are like, you're so magnificent. You've done all this forever. And it's like, just started. You got to start somewhere. 1% better every day. You just keep moving. Just keep moving. And you go, I got this. I'm moving. I got this.

I'm moving. Nobody will ever get much better at anything if they don't start and don't continue consistently.

I mean, the only ones who were magnificent at this, I can say there were a couple outliers, and I want to learn how they did it. Nikol Tesla was one where he was able to use his unconscious, he still took the actions, but it was in his imagination. And he did the 10,000 experimentations at million bits per second. And then was able to create, he did the same thing that Edison did, except for he did it up here. And then he did it so many times that every time he went to create something, it worked the first time. It's because he was able to make all of the calibrations and movements at the unconscious level, which hasn't really been seen much. There are some people who are just prodigies and because they can think through that kind of thing. But other than that, and I'm still working on finding out how to get that skill set, because I believe the study of NLP is we can model and if one person can do it, anyone can do it. As long as it's like disregarding like physical capabilities, right? Sure, sure. There's not, there's not someone that's one, two, like a three year old isn't going to be able to swim like Michael Phelps. There are anomalies that are out there. But given the same parameters, same abilities, everything is possible. And it's studying models of excellence and replicating how they do things and then modifying it to our own capabilities, our own skill sets, to make it work.

I like it. I think it's a fantastic process and fantastic utilization for anyone that wants to explore that and use it. It's definitely one heck of a tool. Right? We can get rid of.

40 years of baggage in less than an hour. What? Oh, I didn't think that was possible. Yeah, well, just like it is.

You just have to decide. You just have to decide.

Trust your unconscious. Get the learnings. Life is good. Have a guide that can get you there from point A to point B that knows exactly what they're doing and miracles can happen. And That's the thing is just like the negative voice, right? That imposter syndrome voice. You and I have talked about it before, where that one that holds us down, that lies to us. And if we know what it sounds like, and we try it on for just a second, and then all of a sudden we say, all right, you're going to sound like Mickey Mouse with a Donald Duck accent. What? Well, I can't take that seriously. Oh, exactly. Go ahead and leave it the way it is. Oh, guess what?

That was easy.

Did you know that you had the ability to change what the interior voice said? Yeah. No, I didn't know that I could change that. Yeah, you're the editor. If you don't like the way your life is going, rewrite it. If you don't like the way the narrator is talking, change the narrator. If your positive voice sounds like this weak thing, make them sound like Morgan Freeman or James Earl Jones. Give your positive voice power. Make it sound like someone who you truly believe in that you trust a hundred percent. Give it the power that it needs. Take away the power from the negative and give power to the positive.

I think everybody has the power and the capability to do so. Sometimes you just need that. You need that, that, uh, need that point in the, in the right direction or that you need to be shown how to, how to understand how to access that and how to, how to make it happen.

Well, you don't know what you don't know until you know it. And then you're like, and then and then when it seems so easy, we beat ourselves up for not knowing how to do it. It's like, why would you beat yourself up for not knowing how to do it? Are you going to beat up a three year old because they haven't learned how to walk yet? You're not walking yet. No, we'll keep giving pointers and help and then get them to where they're walking and running. You don't beat someone up because they don't know what they don't know.

They didn't know what they didn't know until they knew it.

And then I've had 67 year old and 60 and 70 year old say, Oh, I didn't, I'm smart. I didn't realize I'm like, yeah, you didn't know. You didn't know. Nobody knows everything. Now give yourself some grace for not knowing it and take action moving forward. Now that you know it. Okay. Move.

Don't invest time and energy into beating yourself up, being frustrated about something that you didn't know. Invest that energy and emotion into moving forward.

Here's the thing, I would rather have excuses than results. I don't know many people that can catch excuses at the bank. No. But we will dive into it and give all of our energy saying, this person sucks, or this person does this, or the government is ruining my life instead of, what can I do with my daily actions today that will make me better? Because I'll tell you right now, no matter who wins the presidency, I still have to take care of me. I still have to take my actions. I still have to move forward. Do I have a preference? Sure. But at the end of the day, it's not going to change my life to the extent of, I can't do anything. They're not going to come to my house and say, you can't do this. And the minute they do, guess what? I got a solution for that. Let's go. I got you. Right. I got some friends with with some land and we can have some fun. Right. But at the end of the day, my focus is on bettering me, those around me and helping those find their own true path. find a way for them to just be their most magnificent self in the most effective manner possible. The speed of which we can get rid of past baggage is condensed massively because I don't believe in the, the, the, the belief structure of, I want a client to suffer through the same thing over and over because I can keep a client where I want them. And that is a model for some people of, if I keep you stuck in a problem long enough, you'll stay in there and you'll keep paying me every week. That noise, let's get you massively successful because then you've got a massively big challenge ahead and you got me that can help you get there. And I'll get rewarded for that too. I would rather help you solve a new problem than the same one over and over and over.

an ongoing regimen of treatments is, it may be effective, but certainly a solution that resolves that issue or that concern or that problem for anyone in a much quicker amount of time is a heck of a lot more effective because think of all the time you're saving not still dealing with you know, treating or trying to work through whatever it is you're trying to work through.

Well, they're trying, right? And at the end of the day, we don't try here. We just get results. And the point being of, well, where do you want to go? All right, let's get you there. What's holding you back? This. Okay, so what if it wasn't? What do you need to learn to let you let it go? Okay, so let's move. What action do you need to take? This. Okay. What, how does that look? Okay. And, and having someone that asks those questions to bring it to your awareness, and then you start to realize, wait a minute, it wasn't as bad as I thought. My big, bad trauma trigger, whatever was just an addiction that I needed to let go of to move to where I want to go. And once I've got the energy to move in that direction, and I don't have to deal with that anymore, guess what? I can move this way. And it first takes the belief, right? There's four steps. I can. I believe it's possible, right? I can do it. I will do it. Okay, I'm going to take action on it. I must do it. We get our musts. I will make sure that there's food on the table. I will make sure that there's this. I am. I don't even have to think about it now. It's just part of who I am. It's the four levels. The goal is to get to I am. but you've got to believe that it's possible first. Then you've got to start taking action. Then you've got to make it level of thermostat. Tony Robbins talks about this a lot is we will go to our lowest level of thermostat. We'll live to our lowest common denominator. And if we raise it up, then I have to do more. We raised it up. I have to do more. And that's the thing is, is you want to live in comfort growth. It doesn't live in comfort. Now, is it okay to vacation every once in a while? Absolutely. But at the end of the day, the goal is 1% better every day. Use the compound interest.

This has been good. I appreciate you very much. This has been good.

Life is amazing, my friend, and when we start taking the energy that we've been using to hide stuff from us and start putting it towards our future and our families and growing, life is so much better. The goal is to stop bleeding our families, stop putting kids in centers that they get treatment, they come back, and then our stuff bleeds back on them. Our anchors re-trigger them. We have to be the ones who make the change. Yes. And start moving forward. Stop investing all the money in fixing your kids. You can't fix your kid if you're broken. They model us. So take the energy, fix yourself, be a model of excellence, and go, hey, this is how we do this. I believe in you. And stop saying, I will sacrifice myself for my kids. Because all you're teaching your kids is to sacrifice and it creates a system of sacrifice instead of saying, hey, this is how I fixed myself so that you could be better. I'm going to give you lessons, not give all the pieces of myself. It's a false narrative to say I have to sacrifice myself. No, you've got to fill your bucket so that you can then show your kids that it's OK to have their bucket full too.

Very, very true.

It's one of those difficult ones to say, but at the end of the day, we are a model that they look towards and they're going to model us sacrificing everything instead. Do you want them to sacrifice everything? Do you want them to be in your same position? No, then stop doing it. Start filling your bucket so they can fill their buckets and know that it's okay to live amazingly.

We're leading, you know, we're, we're leading our children by example and, and

Well, we say it's what we do.

I've watched my boys follow a lot of examples that I have put forth or set forth as, you know, you're a father, you're a parent. I'm sure you've seen the same as well with your kids. And I'm sure you can attest to that, that they... I am every day improving.

They will follow you. to the most detrimental negative thing that you do. They will take your screw ups and make them massive and you go, stop.

Don't do that. Oh, I can't tell you to not do that because I did that.

I can tell you what I learned from it. But at the end of the day, I've got to be the actionable resource instead of the say, this is what you need to do. Cause kids don't buy what you say. They buy the actions that you do. Yup. And even those around you, they, and the easiest person to lie to is yourself. The minute you stop lying to yourself and you just say, look, I'm going to hold myself accountable to me. Everything shifts. Love yourself first, fill your bucket and guess what? People around you will start filling their buckets and you'll start seeing some amazing things. When you start looking at people with absolute love of yourself, you'll love them because everyone is a reflection of you.

It's crazy. Yeah, I agree. 10,000%. They say you can't pour from an empty cup. So if you yourself If you're not full, if you're an empty cup, what are you, what are you going to do for everything else around you?

You're going to be taking, and that's not what you want. Fill your cup.

Be awesome.

This has been great. I appreciate you. Well, uh, hopefully, uh, hopefully some people, hopefully people are going to take it.

They're going to enjoy it. information. Now, it's up to you to take action.

You're going to have me stumbling every time. Every time after I walk away from here, I'm going to be stumbling on myself every time I say the word, but or try or hope until you don't say them anymore.

I'm fine with that. That's the whole thing is shifting your perspective, shifting your words, making things matter because a word is a spell you're casting on your unconscious mind. And it has an effect. So the minute you start taking certain words out and replacing them with things that you want, life is going to be that much more open. You're going to start seeing more opportunities and life is going to be better. So watch what you say and say what you want. And it makes it so much easier. It's like, I don't have to think about anything. It's like, no, that's what I want. Well, I don't want this. Okay. So what do you want instead? Oh, I got to reprogram how I think about things now. OK. And once that program takes place, then it's like. Flow state more often.

Starts up here, right?

Yes, on the decision that you want to be better and then you start taking action.

Yes, sir. Mr. Wiley, I've enjoyed. Yes. I think everybody should own one of those. I'm going to have to get on Amazon or run to wherever you get the ones at Staples.

Yep. Yes.

I've got a couple of them just because you can never have enough easy in your life to show you that it truly is the way you think about it. You can reframe it to a way that it's like, oh, that makes sense. I can do that. And then when you get to an actionable step, take the action. And by small steps is where you get the result. Most people wanna go, I wanna do this massive thing in this short period of time. It's like, well, just start taking an action towards it. You can, people underestimate what they can do in a year and underestimate what they can do in five. So just start taking actions, start building it. Yep.

This has been good. You can hit the easy button one more time.

So what do you like? All right, let's hit the easy button. One, two.

That was easy.

I appreciate your time and look forward to visiting with you again. Look forward to sharing your information and your perspective and your talent and abilities with others, because it's definitely a skill set that more people need to be aware of and utilizing to their advantage. In my personal opinion, I think it's great. I think it's absolutely fantastic.

Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you. With that being said, I will, uh, I will conclude this and I appreciate everything. And I hope that you have a fantastic rest of the day and week, and we will talk again soon.

Thanks so much for tuning into this episode of Other People's Perspective. We sure do appreciate it. If you haven't done so already, make sure you're subscribed to the show wherever you consume podcasts. This way you'll get updates as new episodes become available. And if you feel so inclined, please leave us a review. Until the next perspective.